It was a January night, around 2 a.m. I woke up out of my sleep with an idea for a book collaboration. I was so excited. I wanted to call somebody, but I didn’t know who was up. I was inspired from my debut as an author in a book collaboration called Cheers to Your Success: Women on the Rise and Owning their Destiny. I had shared my story about having a strained relationship with my mother. My desire to write was sparked, but also helping others was as well. Such a weight had been lifted from me and healing had occurred and I wanted others to experience what I was feeling as well.
My excitement quickly turned into me being antsy as I began to think could this really be a book, a good book. Would people really want to read about the trials and tribulations that go on between mothers and daughters? I am not talking about the occasional argument or yeah; my mom gets on my nerves. I am talking about the deep-rooted issues, the abuse, the neglect, the hurt, the pain, the anger, the betrayal, and the disappointments that no one talks about all the time. Then I began to worry, there was no way that I could get any woman to tell their stories. We all know the saying, “what goes in this house stays in this house.” Not to mention, telling the whole world in a book about the horrible things that transpired in their lives between them and their mothers.
I just had this feeling in my spirit that this book was going to change lives, heal women from their past, release them, deliver them, bring awareness to this issue, to be evaluated and discussed, break generational curses, help many begin their journey to forgiveness, and restore the mother-daughter relationship. I just knew, I mean why else would I be awakened with such a concept at the wee hours of the night. I knew a book like this is needed.
I know firsthand about having a strained mother-daughter relationship. I know firsthand about being mistreated, crying myself to sleep, seeing things I should not have seen, hearing things I should not have heard, being told things and being called things that crushed my identity, my self-esteem, and self-worth. I know what it feels like to have a mother who you felt didn’t act like a mother, your mother because she treated you like a chick out on the street. To have a mother not show you how to be a lady, teach you about sex instead of wrongfully accusing you of having sex. I know what it’s like being kicked out of the house numerous times, being lied to and lied on, and just flat out have your feelings hurt by a person who created you and in my case that I have been told I looked like.
I always felt like I was alone, and not too many people understood me. I knew a lot of girls and women who had great relationships with their mothers. They would give me the side eye when they found out my mother and I wouldn’t talk for months. They didn’t understand or even see how it could be possible to have a nonexistent, dysfunctional, and a hateful relationship between a mother and her daughter because when you combine the two words mothers and daughters, what is likely to come to mind? A beautiful relationship? One where the mom loves her daughter tells her she’s beautiful, teaches her how to be a lady, encourages her in her studies, and does her hair, paint her nails, go to the park with her, talk to her about the changes occurring in her body, etc. Then as time go on, their relationship strengthen into a untouchable bond.
Unfortunately, for every mother and daughter this is not their reality. Maybe at some point it was but things changed. For some, this was never a depiction of their relationship with their mom at all. Many daughters have suffered abuse of all kinds from their very own mother, the one who bore her.
Some of the co-author’s mothers are deceased. Some of the co-authors do not have a relationship with their mother. Some still have a challenging relationship with their mothers that change with the season.
A Letter To My Mother: A Daughter’s Perspective purpose is not to bash moms but o bring awareness to the issue and hopefully spark conversations in families that are long overdue. Readers, even if they can’t relate to the stories, will feel the pain of the courageous authors
So after months of searching for writers, losing writers along the way, wanting to give up, being on an emotional roller coaster, experiencing hardships, even being fearful, a sisterhood was formed, a collaboration was created, and a book was birthed and lives were definitely changed.